My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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