i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
only if we run a train.
done.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
