Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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