Just fell off a train. Bad.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize