we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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