Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
