We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
