so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
