I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
