At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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