I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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