Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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