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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  i am grossed the fuck out

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• (352): View more from Florida

  You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job

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• (917): View more from New York City

  She saved the condom from the first time we did it.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  a search helicopter?!

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• (509): View more from Washington

  We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.

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• (858): View more from California

  Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm both gender and math confused

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.

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