Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
