Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
