I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
