Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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