Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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