Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We left an ass print on the piano.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
