I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
