come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
