I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
