there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
