I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
