When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
