I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize