we're chasing vodka with high fives
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize