I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize