I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
