I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize