Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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