where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
soo... how was my night?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
