There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
