I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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