Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize