Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
