How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
