I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
