Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
