I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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