well most of my day revolves around power hour
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
