My nipple is on Facebook.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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