TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
