i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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