Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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