i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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