She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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