So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
