He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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