U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
