so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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