i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
