There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
