So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
