thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
